Statement Of Intent
Post 1, 2024-01-19
I may or may not be the World’s Worst Poet. It’s part informal title, part humblebrag. The poems I write can be pretty terrible, but I’m not gunna spend time worrying about it, I could spend ages trying to make them good but they’re just dumb little poems anyway, it’s not like they’re going to change anything or do anything beyond giving you a moment where you don’t have to worry about all the other shit.
Why this, why now
Partly it’s proof that I’m coming out of my shell. Partly it’s because Substack hasn’t been snapped up by a mega-conglomerate yet. Partly because Substack is the perfect platform for self-publishing and I can pretend I’m just saving my old work to the cloud.
What kind of space will this be?
This will be a flat space, with hidden depths lurking below the visible surface. It will be safe for me because I am not engaging with any actual readers, just pretend ones.
All subscribers have free access to all my musings. If you have money that you don’t need for any other purpose you can give it to me, and I will not judge you.
I will post whenever I’m sufficiently inspired or irked. I am hoping that this will function as a journal, but lasting past February. Unless otherwise noted, all images and words are created by me, mainly by hand but with considerable mechanical intervention before publication. It may just look like pushing buttons but I have spent ages learning which buttons to press.
As a poet the world and the universe and time and beauty and truth are my subject, but in truth it is minor annoyances and meagre rewards that generally prompt me to write
I cannot guarantee verse, but if you see verse I will not be providing trigger warnings or spoilers.
PLEASE BE AWARE
This is your first and only warning.
Consideration of this poetry may cause: loss of appetite nausea vomiting headache raised shoulders impotence defensiveness offence restless leg syndrome stress shock disassociation total collapse resting bitch face hair loss terminal boredom the urge to go outside death, or a prolonged death-like state
